Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
