I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think your dad took our porno
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
