my mouth tastes like poor choices
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
