He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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