Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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