So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
