so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
