Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize