Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
