So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
