My brain says no but my pants say off.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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