Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
