it was like eating out sand paper
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Vodka?
Forever.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize