her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
