we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
