i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
