dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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