Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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