I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Did I show you my penis last night?
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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