Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
