girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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