I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
