I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
