Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
