Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize