so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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