And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
