Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
