I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
