yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize