Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
no. you can't hotbox the world.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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