Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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