I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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