I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
