we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My dick has a subreddit
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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