You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I cannot find my penis.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
