Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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