Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
