u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
