im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
