do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
