The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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