I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just gift wrapped bread.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
