Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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