best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
