Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Where is the hickey?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
