i just google imaged poop.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Every concussion has its silver lining
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
