I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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