I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
