After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
COCAINE IS GR8
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
