Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
