i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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