I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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