i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
