If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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