i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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