she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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