where am i from again
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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