I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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