you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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