You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
