p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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