Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
