i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize